why didn't you poke me back
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My first STD was from a foam party
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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