I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
