That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
