She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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