he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
