She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
i think im in europe. pls send help
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
