we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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