I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
