we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
the raccoons are back...
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