oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
