Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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