Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
