so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You smell like stripper and shame
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
