Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
