If i come over, it means nothing
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
