Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
