This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
