Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
