I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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