Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
