Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
