she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
