my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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