addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
