THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
