STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
