I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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