Where are you?
In a non slutty way
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
