I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
