Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
