yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
