Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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