I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
