Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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