If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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