Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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