From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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