Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
