i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
