i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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