Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
