I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
