Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
