gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
