How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
