He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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