We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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