i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
