she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
foreskin is a definite game changer
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
