my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize