Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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